this day i think was destined to be crazy from the moment i woke up given the events of the past few days.
basically everything i've posted plus the drama multiplied x 10 put together. i tried to avoid it, i tried to ignore
it but the thing with catty, online drama? it's like girl drama. it doesn't go away easily and always claws at you
no matter how hard you try to be neutral. i think i'm comforted by the fact that i've had such amazing friends
throughout it all. some people, i'm just getting to know or have just met through pms on my site in support
of caution and how it's all played out, and other people that i've known for a while that are loyal and actually
don't judge me on what somebody that doesn't even know me says about me on a "juicy gossip blog." i've
learned a lot over the course of the past few days, like who are my real friends, who are the ones that i can
trust, and the ones that i can keep. and i think if nothing else, that's what's been the best experience. and it
probably sounds weird coming from somebody who isn't generally so optimistic, but still. i mean it.
anyways, want to know how it started as a crazy day? i woke up after having a....very interestinf dream about
this guy that i've not so secretly had a crush, but never told him about, since sixth or seventh grade which mind
you is about four or five years ago now. i've liked him on and off but iv'e always tried to avoid telling or liking him
for reasons like my friends having crushes on him or something silly like that. i'm surprisingly shy around him
when i'm not around any other guys and it's just this instinct, i guess. idk, but i feel comfortable around him. the
last time i thought about him before summer was in session was the last day of school. i really wanted him to
sign my shirt, since i didnt get a yearbook this year, and i wanted to see what he'd put; but he was sick. i was
upset because i was looking forward to MAYBE getting a chance to saying something to him. i wasn't able to.
my dream last night had to do with him and me, sitting in english class besides each other like we did in reality,
and he was helping me with an art project. ironically, i do suck at such things, but why it had to do with art in an
english class i'll never know. anyways, basically in the dream he helped me to find it but strangely enough, another
girl that i don't really like, but i'm on amiable terms with [she's...kind of scary] that says she doesn't like him but it's
completely obvious she does - came into the picture, in my dream just like she ALWAYS does in reality, and tried
to distract him and make a complete fool out of me my bringing in habits from sixth and seventh grade. ironically,
that's exactly what she used to do around me and him. she'd always embarrass me while gloating on her own self.
idk if this means i still like him or what it means, but i really want to know.
i'll post more tommorow, but right now i just needed to get that out.